Christmas in One Word=Destruction...?

As a mama to 3 young, energetic boys, (and 1 girl!), the word “destroy” is not a foreign concept in our home.  I get variations on a theme when I hear:
“Mom! He destroyed my tower!” or “You broke it!’.  Two brothers left their Stratego game unfinished on the living room floor, and the other one accidentally kicked over the pieces, “Mom, he messed up our game!”

Not only do the kids speak of destruction at times, I find myself speaking against destruction.  “Don’t destroy!” I urge.  “Don’t break, fight, rip, throw, tear, or damage anything!”  On my worst days, I have even lifted up myself on the podium of “non-destroyer” saying: “I work hard to solve problems, fix things, keep order.  Don’t mess it up!”  (Translated: I don’t destroy, so neither should you! Hm!”).  Yikes, life can get messy.

Sometimes, I find myself playing, “Finish the Verse” game with the kids:  “The thief has come to steal and kill and....WHAT?”  They reply: “DESTROY!”  I continue: “Jesus has come to give us....WHAT?”  They chime in: “LIFE!”  (John 10.10).  Brush my hands, and the answer is clear!  Of course we won’t destroy anything!  That is the Enemy’s mission.  Jesus doesn’t destroy.

Then the Gospel shook me up. 

“The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.”  1 John 3.8

Woah!  Say what?!  The Son appeared to DESTROY?  I am sure I’ve read that before, but the word meant more to me as a mama of boys.  Suddenly, I had to figure this out. 

I’ve long known that Jesus is my Savior.  Jesus is Lord.  Jesus is the Good Shepherd.  Jesus is my Friend.  Jesus is Love.  Jesus is the Son of God.

But only in recent months have I really begun to investigate what it really means that Jesus is a Warrior King.  There is not space to share all the amazing things I have been learning about the rider of the white horse, but today I will tell you: he makes war. 
“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse whose rider is called Faithful and True.  With justice he judges and makes war.”
Revelation 19.11

With Christmas just a week away, I am celebrating in a way I never have in years past; I am celebrating the Victory of the “Landed Invasion” of Jesus, who came to destroy the devil’s work!

We love to sing of Emmanuel at Christmas=God With Us, but here is where the name came from...Isaiah 8:
“...O, Immanuel!
Raise the war cry, you nations, and be shattered!
Listen, all you distant lands.
Prepare for battle, and be shattered!
Prepare for battle, and be shattered!....
for God is with us.”
Isaiah 8.9-10

I heard an amazingly helpful sermon, entitled “Landed Invasion”, in which the pastor quotes 1 John 3.8 and says, “That is Christmas in one Word=Destruction!”  My attention was riveted.

He goes on to say:
“The reason for the season is destruction.  The reason we celebrate Christmas is because God wanted something destroyed.  LIBERATION REQUIRED DESTRUCTION” he preached.

We talk about Jesus coming to “save”, but that assumes something is being held captive.
We say Jesus came to bring “peace on earth”, but that entails that there was prior chaos.
We say Jesus came to heal, but that implies there is sickness and disease.

What is the work of the devil?  SIN.

1 John 3.8 “He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning.”

Way back in the beginning, in Genesis 3 the devil slithers into human history masked as a serpent, and deceives Eve into disobeying God and sinning with Adam.  But what does God do?  He declares war, not on the humans but on the serpent:

“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed  (singular male pronoun) and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”  Genesis 3.15

Yes, sin was Adam and Eve’s responsibility and the human race was cursed to pain and death, but God was already giving promises of hope that a Messiah would come and crush the serpent’s head....destruction.

Many millennia later, that same ancient serpent slithered into the desert to tempt Jesus into disobeying God and surrendering his rescue mission in exchange for one little thing:

“If you worship me, it will all be yours.”  Luke 4.6
Jesus remains unmoved in his obedience to worship God and to serve Him only.  In the Spirit’s power, he reads and fulfills the scroll of Isaiah: 
“He has sent me to proclaim release for the captives...” Luke 4.18

How did he do it?  "Jesus destroyed the works of the devil by his appearing and by his presence on the cross....when he who knew no sin became sin for us, not by violence, but by taking violence on himself." (See Landed Invasion).

“You were DEAD in your sins...God made you alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away nailing it to the cross.  And having DISARMED the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.”  Col. 2.13-15

“...but it has now been revealed through the APPEARING of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has DESTROYED death and has brought LIFE and immortality to light through the gospel.”
Ti. 1.10

Jesus DESTROYED DEATH by his own death and resurrection.
Jesus has DESTROYED SIN by his perfect obedience and sacrifice of himself in our place on the cross.
Jesus has DESTROYED the works of the devil, by DISARMING their power and making them a public spectacle.
Jesus DESTROYS the DEVIL by becoming God in the flesh: Emmanuel:

“Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his DEATH he might DESTROY him who holds the power of death--that is, the devil, and FREE those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.”  Hebrews 2.14

If you are still a captive, being held prisoner, you need to know, this is war.  This life is a war for your soul.  Do not let the enemy, that ancient serpent, deceive you into worshiping him, or anything else that would temporarily satisfy or please you.  Worship the Lord as God and serve him only! 

What must I do to be freed?  How can I be released?  How can I have life and escape final destruction?  Answer=HOPE IN HIM.
 
“Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.” 1 John 3.3

For those who are looking to Jesus as our Hope, let us celebrate Jesus this Christmas as the Strong Victorious Hero:

“The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”  1 John 4.4

Let us rejoice that we are freed captives, marching in joyful procession in the train of the King:

“But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.” 2 Cor. 2.14

“When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train...”
Eph. 4.8

Christmas is a “Landed Invasion” when Jesus, by his appearing, came to destroy the works of the devil.  One of my favorite lines from the sermon is: "Jesus came to kick some tail and take some treasure."  We are the treasure.  Christmas is destruction.  This is a good kind of destruction, the kind that is like a big strong dude (Jesus) coming to beat up on an oppressor (Satan).  (See the Parable of the Strong Man, Luke 11.21-22).

But I must report that in my study on destruction, I found another kind of destruction, one that has not yet come, and this is something to dread, for those who have not trusted Jesus as King.

“For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.  While people are saying, ‘Peace and safety,’ destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.”  1 Thes. 5.3

“He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.  They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed.”  2 Thes. 1.8-10

If this destroying God-King does not sound gracious to you, then please heed my words: This message is God’s grace to you now, inviting you to cling to Jesus as the perfect obedient sacrifice in your place...before it is too late.  Do not be found this Christmas singing about “Peace and Safety” unless you have trusted Jesus as the One who brings Everlasting Peace and Eternal Safety.

Don’t worry.  My house isn’t too messed up, and we have been learning to pursue peace and not destroy anything.  But the next time my child destroys his brother’s Stratego game, I am going to remember that Jesus came to mess up Satan’s game plan.  But this life is not a game, this is real war.

Set My Surely Straight

I find that memorizing Scripture slows me down to the degree that I notice connections that I would otherwise have missed.  I LOVE finding connections and noticing new things in meditation through memorizing. 

Ultimately, I love drawing nearer to God through His Word and finding my faith strengthened in even such a small word as “SURELY.”

This happened this morning as I was working on memorizing Psalm 73. 

For 10 days I have been slowly acquiring mastery of verses 1-17.  This morning, I was ready to move on to verse 18:

“Surely you place them on slippery ground....”

Having quoted verse 1 for 10 days now:
“Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart”

and verse 13 for 6 days now:
“Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure...”

my mind lit up a connection when I began verse 18:

“Surely you place them on slippery ground...”

I paused and began to wonder, what does Asaph (the author) mean to say by repeating this word, “Surely”?  He seems to be preaching to himself.

“Surely”= “Used to emphasize the speaker’s firm belief that what they are saying is true and often their surprise that there is any doubt of this; with assurance or confidence, without question” (online dictionary).

First he tells himself what he knows to be true: “Surely, God is good...to those who are pure in heart”, but after struggling with envy over the prosperity of the arrogant he questions God’s goodness with another “surely”=”Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure” (v. 13).

How true of humans and of myself!  We do this, don’t we!?  One minute we feel sure of God’s goodness, and the next minute we are almost sure of our doubt. 

Today I have learned in the “Surely” of Psalm 73, that God can set our “surelys” straight. 

How does he do this?  How does God change:
--my “surely” of what I know in my head to be true
--from the doubt of my “surely” in what I question to be true
--to the “surely” of faith that will sustain me?

These words have been underlined in my heart:

“...WHEN I SAW....”

 
The Psalmist, Asaph, was singing the “Surely” of God’s goodness, when he almost slipped and lost his faith foothold.  Why?

ENVY.  COMPARISON.  LOOKING.

“For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (v. 3).

Through verse 12, Asaph itemizes his perception of the perfect life of those who are far from God but seem to be prospering.  After comparing his life with theirs his song changes from “Surely God is Good to Israel...” to

“Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure” (v. 13).

No! Asaph!  Don’t think that!  Don’t doubt God’s goodness!  Don’t keep your eyes on envy! 

No!  Self!  Don’t grow weary and lose heart!  Don’t give up on trusting God’s goodness!  You have not kept your heart pure in vain! 

Lord!  Set my surely straight! 

God’s answer:  LOOK.  SEE. 

We have to get eternal lenses.  See past this present age.  Look to something beyond the so-called success of those who seem to have it better then ourselves. 

“When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

TILL I ENTERED THE SANCTUARY OF GOD;
then I understood their final destiny.”
Ps. 73.16-17

When Asaph got his eyes on GLORY, his faith was strengthened; his surely was set straight in the sanctuary of God.

“You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory...

My flesh and my heart may fail,
BUT GOD is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73.24 & 26

The “surely” of God’s goodness turns to the “surely of doubt when we SEE and fix our eyes on envy and temporal treasures.

But our “surely” is set straight when we SEE Jesus and fix our eyes on the eternal unseen reality of what is to come.

“Surely you place them on slippery ground....
Those who are far from you will perish”
Ps. 73.18 & 27

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4.18

When Asaph sees glimpses of God’s glory, he sees the end.  He remembers what really matters: BEING NEAR TO GOD.  Seeing the end strengthens his faith in the present and sustains him once again in God’s goodness:

“But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge” (v. 28).

Lord, I confess that I struggle at times with comparison to others and with doubt in your goodness.  Thank you that when I feel my foot slipping, you hold me by my right hand (v. 23) and you will not let my foot slip (Ps. 121.3).  Please strengthen my heart when it fails, and show me through faith that “earth has nothing I desire besides you” (v. 25).  I pray for those who are far from you and mock you saying “Does the Most High have knowledge?” (v. 11 & 27).  Please open their eyes to see your goodness and the glory to come, and let many more make you their refuge and portion forever, before it is too late!  As for me, it is good to be near to you, and thank you that I am always with you (v. 23 & 28).  You are my strength, my portion, and earth has nothing I desire besides you, Lord!  (v. 26 & 25).  Amen!

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalm 23.6

Easter Fools: What Knowing Fool Am I?

I can’t believe Easter fell this year on April Fool’s Day.  Then I thought, “What kind of joke must that have been to those who loved Jesus, who saw him crucified and buried?!” 

“Jesus is Risen!....April Fools!”  Was someone trying to play a trick on everyone?!  Was this some kind of joke?

I imagine I was sitting with the 11 disciples, grieving and mourning the loss of our teacher and friend.  I imagine all the confusion and conversation we must have wrestled with as we tried to recall his words.  Don’t mess with a mourner; don’t tell me he is not dead.  I saw him die.

Some scientific-minded skeptics do doubt the resurrection, and they have worked hard to prove the mis-informed historicity of Jesus’ resurrection. 

But the Bible clearly explains (to those who will receive it as authentic eyewitness testimony) that Jesus was indeed crucified, dead, and buried.  Gospel accounts made sure to include the details about how they sealed and guarded the tomb so no one would try to steal the corpse to claim he had indeed risen.

Yet, the tomb was empty Sunday morning.

What kind of fool am I?  Do I really believe that one who claimed to be the Christ is indeed alive? 

Or maybe there’s another kind of fool....

During our Easter sermon this morning, Pastor Bob made the point that there are two kinds of knowing.  You can know data and facts, or you can have an experiential kind of spiritual knowing.  I never noticed this before in Luke 24:

Two walked on the road to Emmaus discussing all that had happened in recent days.  Though Jesus himself came up and walked with them, they were kept from recognizing him.

“[Jesus] asked them, ‘What are you discussing together as you walk along?’. . . .

One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, ‘Are you only a visitor to Jerusalem and do not know the things that have happened there in these days?’ Luke 24:17-18.

They explain the facts of the prophet Jesus, his crucifixion, and the empty tomb, yet they have the audacity to say to Jesus “Don’t you know?”

We can know facts, but we can miss knowing Jesus, even if he is right in our midst.

What kind of fools are they?

"Jesus said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!” Luke 24:25

Wow!  I imagine I am talking with the resurrected Jesus and he says “how foolish you are...” 

Am I slow of heart to believe too?  Am I this kind of fool, who knows all the facts about Jesus but doesn’t even see with spiritual eyes?

The Proverbs talk about fools too:


“He who trusts in himself is a fool...” Proverbs 28:26

Jesus, before he was killed, had said: “Trust in God; trust also in me” John 14:1. 

A fool is one who trusts in himself and not in Jesus. 

Proverbs says: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes...” Proverbs 12:15

Jesus once said, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14:6

A fool is one whose own way is right in his own eyes, not the way of Jesus.

Why, then, did Jesus call Cleopas and his friend “fools”?  What kind of fools were they?  Slow of heart? 

They did not see Jesus in all of the Scriptures.  They did not see that Christ had to suffer before glory. 

I am so glad that Jesus is also patient to walk along with us as we journey toward a different kind of knowing.

“When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and began to give it to them.  Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him....” Luke 24:31

Somehow, this moment of breaking the bread opened their spiritual eyes to see that Jesus was right in front of them.  That it truly was the risen Christ. 

Their hearts burned, on fire with spiritual awakening!  The direction of their lives changed, as they turned a 180 from Emmaus and headed back to Jerusalem:

“It is true!  The Lord has risen and appeared...” Luke 24:34

I love how Pastor Bob pointed out verse 35: “Jesus was known to them when he broke the bread” (ESV). 

Cleopas had asked Jesus, “Don’t you know?” but now it is Jesus who makes himself known to them.

What kind of Easter fool do I want to be?

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to use who are being saved it is the power of God.”  1 Corinthians 1:18

Those who know data about Jesus but don’t know the risen Jesus may think I am a fool for believing in one I cannot see, for believing that Jesus is the way and the truth and the life. 

But those who think I am a fool, are perishing.  They are the real fools. 

It will be no joke when Jesus says to some who claimed to know him:  “I never knew you.  Away from me!” Matthew 7:23

I don’t want to be foolish in Jesus eyes for being slow of heart to believe, or a fool who claims to know Jesus but has no saving experiential knowledge.  I want to be foolish in the world’s eyes for staking my life on the Gospel of the cross and the empty tomb.

I don't want to be a knowing fool.  I want to be a knowing fool. 

What kind of Easter fool do you want to be?

Innocent Dies, Guilty Walks Free: I Am Rhonda

Two short lines on a sign can say a lot.  My kids and I stopped at the red light of a busy intersection near our house.  Many times we had waited there, but this time we noticed something different.

A handmade sign poking out of the ground read: “Rhonda killed 3, and gets away free.”  Next to the sign was fresh dirt and 3 white crosses marking the spot where I assumed a car accident had ended three lives.

In the time it takes to sit at a red light, I could imagine the whole story.  One person’s reckless driving had caused grief to many mourners, but the injustice of the final sentence compounded their pain.  In two short lines that rhymed, I could feel the anger and outrage of the family and friends who did not get to see Rhonda pay the just penalty for her wrongdoing.

My kids and I got animated talking about it.  “What does that mean, ‘gets to walk free’?” one asked.  We chatted about the court system and how the judge decides if an accused person is “guilty” or “ not guilty.”

Suddenly, I remembered the book I just read on grief by Jerry Sittser.  How ironic, that the same sign could have been written by him!

In one car accident, he lost 3 generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his daughter.  As Sittser learned that the alleged driver of the other car was acquitted at the trial, he described the strong feelings he had to find justice and vindication for the suffering he endured. 

“I was enraged after the trial, which in my mind turned out to be as unjust as the accident itself.  The driver did not get what he deserved any more than the victims, whether living or dead, had gotten what they deserved.  The travesty of the trial became a symbol for the unfairness of the accident itself.  I had to work hard to fight off cynicism.”  (Loc 1403). 

In my own story of suffering, loss, and grief, I, too, have felt that sense of injustice at times, for things that didn’t seem fair.  I have wept over the wrongs of others that left me in pain.  A little trail-lawyer rises up inside me wanting to take my offenders to court: “How can he get away with doing this to me?!” 

Suddenly, I remember another guilty man, who got away with murder, and got to walk free.

“Release Barabbas!”  I hear the crowd screaming (Luke 23:18). 

I woke up thinking about that sign: “Rhonda kills 3, gets to walk free,” but I could not get Barabbas out of my mind. 

Here was a guilty man who had been thrown into prison for murder, while an innocent man, Jesus, was simultaneously being falsely accused. 

In a short, upside-down trial, Pilate announces about Jesus, “I find no basis for a charge against this man...he has done nothing to deserve death.”  Yet the voices insistently demanded in unison: “Away with this man!  Crucify him!”  (Luke 23). 

“...and their shouts prevailed.  So Pilate decided to grant their demand.  He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, [Barabbas]. . . . and surrendered Jesus to their will.”  (Luke 23:23-25).

Now here is a great injustice!  Jesus commits no crime, gets falsely accused, and he gets the death sentence, while Barabbas commits murder and gets to walk free!

Even the criminal crucified with Jesus could see the injustice: “We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.  But this man has done nothing wrong!” (Luke 23:41).

How can we forgive the Rhondas in our lives?  How can we stand the injustice of watching people who cause us pain get away with it?  How can we bear to watch them walking free, while we ourselves are left with the mess their wrongdoing has caused?

I see the key that will set me free:

I am Rhonda.

I am Barabbas.

I am guilty. 

I have sinned against God.  I have not loved him with all my heart and soul.  I have not loved my neighbor as myself.  I have stolen glory from God and have committed spiritual adultery by turning to things other than God. 

I deserve death.

“For the wages of sin is death...” (Romans 6:23).

I think of the injustice of grace.  Why should I get to walk free, while Jesus, an innocent man, died in my place?  Why should I get sentenced to eternal life while Jesus drank the cup of God’s wrath on the cross in my place?  Why should the Father’s only son die just so that I could be adopted as his daughter?

This injustice is mind-blowing!

Suddenly I am glad the world is not totally fair.

Sittser writes: “In such a world I might never experience tragedy; but neither would I experience grace.” (Loc 1419).

“There is no grace in a [perfectly fair world], for grace is grace only when it is undeserved” (Loc 1419). 

Maybe I have suffered loss or pain because of someone else’s wrongdoing. 

But Jesus suffered pain because of my wrongdoing.

Maybe I have experienced injustices because of another person’s sin. 

But Jesus experienced injustice because of my sin. 

Maybe someone who hurt me didn’t get the punishment he deserved. 

And I didn’t get the punishment I deserve.  I get mercy. 

This is the scandal of the cross: 

“He committed no sin...He entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 

He himself bore our sin in his body on the tree,
so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;
by his wounds you have been healed.”
1 Peter 2:22-24

"Release Barabbas!" I hear the Spirit whisper. 

I am free to forgive, because I have been forgiven.

I am free to release the Barabbas in my life, because I can entrust myself to him who judges justly.

I am free from the penalty of sin because of the mercy of God.

I am free from eternal pain because “by his wounds I have been healed.”

Loss, Shock, Grief....and an Empty Tomb?

I have been processing deep grief for quite a while.  Some of what I thought was healed seems to keep gushing up to the surface, even through small triggers.  Will I ever be healed?

In a footnote to another book I was reading, I learned that there was a man who lost 3 generations of his family instantly in one car accident.  I immediately wrote that book title on my reading list.  In an email from a divorced friend, she mentioned that same book.  I had to get that book.

Jerry Sittser in “A Grace Disguised” has become a fellow traveler with me on my journey of grief.  He knows what he is talking about: subtitled “how the soul grows through loss.” 

I am SO encouraged by this theme he draws out: “This book is not intended to help anyone get over or even through the experience of catastrophic loss, for I believe that ‘recovery’ from such loss is an unrealistic and even harmful expectation, if by recovery we mean resuming the way we lived and felt prior to the loss.  Instead, the book is intended to show how it is possible to live in and be enlarged by loss, even as we continue to experience it” (Loc 154).

What a relief!  On many “stages” of my journey, I felt like, “I’m healed!  I have come so far!” and I felt some resemblance of the former me, the me “before.”  But then, something would happen to trigger depths untold, and I felt like I was regressing and not progressing!  How frustrating!! 

Now I am reminded that maybe I never will ‘recover’.  Maybe there never will be a ‘normal’, and maybe I will never return to the me that once was.  But maybe there will be some way to “live in and be enlarged by loss” especially as it is ongoing and continuing. 

I can get disappointed with myself and I get angry at my weakness.  I struggle with comparison to others: “Why does she get over her grief so quickly?” or “why doesn’t she struggle with that anymore?” or “how did she move on and get so strong?”  Ahh!!  What a snare of compare I can find myself in. 

Again, this author encouraged me greatly: “I question whether experiences of such severe loss can be quantified and compared.  Loss is loss, whatever the circumstances.  All losses are bad, only bad in different ways.  No two losses are ever the same...” (Loc 307).

I am reminded, there is no value in comparing.  This is my own story, and it is unique. 

I am reminded also of Peter and John, when Jesus says to Peter: “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted, but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” (John 21:18).

I relate so much from Peter in this passage, because when I was younger I got to go wherever I wanted to go.  I traipsed through South America, Europe and Asia, flying on hundreds of planes and exploring foreign cultures.  I was strong and fast and used my energy to pour into tons of other people, even in other languages.  But now, how old I feel, how constrained and confined, how foreign it feels not to be that version of me anymore.  Now I have been given an assignment I would not have chosen. 

But Jesus’ words strike me: “Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.  Then he said to him, ‘Follow me!’” (John 21:19). 

Here Peter reminds me again of myself, because he turns and looks at John and says: “Lord, what about him?”

Yeah, Peter, I’m with you!  Why do I have to suffer?  What about John? Doesn’t he have to suffer too?

Jesus snuffs out comparison: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me” (John 21:22).

I hear Jesus saying the same thing to me: “You must follow me.”  If he wants other people to have different kinds of loss or different degrees of strength or different kinds of experiences, what is that to me?  Maybe God has some mysterious way that He has planned to receive glory through my suffering.  I must live by faith.

Isn’t it interesting that in one verse we see people living by faith, but such contrasting things happen?

“[By faith] Women received back their dead raised to life again.  Others were tortured...” (Hebrews 11.35)

Some people get resurrection.  Other people get torture!  “You, follow me!” Jesus says.

I think of some other women who followed Jesus all the way from Galilee, who followed him to the cross, and watched him breathe his last.

I think of the grief and shock they must have experienced, for only a few days prior, their same Lord was riding on a donkey in a procession of people joyfully praising God: “Hosanna!”

What was it like for them to watch him get falsely accused, beaten and crucified?  What was it like for them to hear him cry out: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit”? (Luke 23.46). 

He breathed his last, and did their hopes die? 

“When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away” (Luke 23.48).

Anguish!  Grief!  Shock!  What a loss!  The man who healed the lame and opened the eyes of the blind!  Dead!  The friend who raised Lazarus from the dead, now lifeless!  On one day, the hopes of Israel were crushed.  With one cry, Jesus breathed his last.

I never before experienced Holy Week through the lens of grief as I do now, having studied more on the human experience of initial shock and waves of subsequent grief and darkness. 

I think of the shock that Jerry Sittser went through as he waited an hour for emergency vehicles to arrive.  Such a sudden instant of life-changing loss, and the shock took days to wear off.

What was it like for those who saw Jesus die?

“But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.”  Luke 23.49.

What thoughts went through their minds in that moment as they watched these things?  Did it even seem real?  “Is this really happening?  Is he really dead?  What will life be like without him?”

“The women...followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it” (Luke 23.55).

The same women kept following him to the tomb.  I can’t imagine burying someone so soon after he died!  It is a big deal to bury someone.  It is a marking point of the reality of the loss.  “My loved one is not coming back.  He really is dead.” 

Before the sun set on Good Friday, Jesus’ body was wrapped in linen and laid in a tomb.  And the tomb was secured and sealed (Matthew 27.66).

Saturday.  The Sabbath.  Sitting.  Resting.  Crying.  Processing.  Stunned shock.  “What has happened?!”  They must have sat around talking about all these things, remembering all that Jesus had said and done.

I cannot imagine the confusion, shock, stunned experience it must have been to find the tomb empty on Easter Sunday!! 

How can humans go through so many emotions in such a short time?!  Hosanna one day, burial soon after.  From the perspective of grief, the resurrection must have felt like a dream.  One gospel even said the reports of the resurrection “seemed to them like nonsense” (Luke 24.11).

Never before in the history of the world has a man been crucified and clearly dead before the eyes of plenty of witnesses, buried in a sealed and secured tomb, and then found fully alive and resurrected! 

The shock of their lives was not the crucifixion, but the resurrection.

This gives me great hope.  The shock and grief and suffering and loss of my life is not the defining reality of my story.  It is yet to come.

“Listen, I tell you a mystery:...
in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet....
the dead will be raised, and we will be changed”
 (1 Corinthians 15.51-52).

(An original song in the works: "Your days of sorrow will end"(Isaiah 60:20), by Jessica Becker)

I Should Know

What is it like to have a beautiful, sexy body and never get seen naked?  never get caressed sexually?

I should know.

What is it like to have been a world traveler, to exotic, tropical and famous places, and then grounded for years, watching friends take long vacations while never leaving the radius of my city?

I should know.

What is it like to put 4 kids to bed every.single.night. and never get more than one, maybe two nights break?  to be the only one singing them to sleep and tucking them in?  never to get tucked in myself?

I should know.

What is it like to have spent years in school, gaining hours and years of higher education, piling up a wealth of knowledge and experience, and yet to have no platform for ministry, no classroom of students, few who even recognize my qualifications and passion?

I should know.

What is it like to have gifts and passions and skills that never seem to be used, while instead filling boring days and hours washing dishes and laundry, feeding small bellies and cleaning messes?

I should know.

"I cry aloud to the Lord,

I lift up my voice for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before him;

Before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me

it is you who know my way." Psalm 142

"To the Lord I cry aloud,

and He answers me..." Psalm 3

What was it like to leave a heavenly throne and become poor, so that you could become spiritually rich?

I should know.

What was it like to be totally alone and isolated in the desert 40 days with no food and in great weakness to face the world's fiercest temptation against the enemy of souls?

I should know.

What was it like to remain celibate my whole life only to be seen naked as men beat and mocked me and made my shame a laughingstock?

I should know.

What was it like to need friends in the hour of death, only to find they had failed to stay awake, leaving me to sweat prayers of agony alone?

I should know.

What will it be like to see my face in glory and to become clothed in robes of righteousness, to receive at last the great love I have for you in all its fullness?

Believe me, I know.

What will it be like when you come into my presence and hear me say, "Well done, good and faithful servant...now enter the kingdom prepared for you and share in my happiness!" 

Believe me, I know.

What will it be like to live forever in a mansion prepared just for you, feasting at my table of delights and enjoying intimate fellowship with me forever?

Believe me, I know.

What will it be like when I wipe way every tear from your eyes and you dance before me as a bride--never to experience mourning or crying or pain again?  to inherit my kingdom and share in reigning with me forever?

Believe me, I know.

"So do not throw away your confidence.

It will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what He has promised.

For in just a very little while,

He who is coming will come and will not delay.

But my righteous one will live by faith."

Hebrews 10